While I Was Waiting....

Four years ago today life for the boys and I changed for forever. It was 4 days after our ninth wedding anniversary. Brian had decided it was best if he left. It was just one more heartache-- we had weathered so many with Matthew's autism and Joshua's birth, heart failure and surgery. Shortly after that Joshua was diagnosed with autism, I began having heart problems of my own, and then Faces of Hope was born.

I can remember praying, sobbing to the Lord several times a day, begging Him to deliver us from the hurts and struggles. I can remember telling Him exactly what I needed to be a good single Mom and to get Faces of Hope off the ground. I thought I was incredibly convincing. Nothing was going our way and every time we took one step forward we seemed to run two or three steps back! I was so frustrated! In hindsight, I'm so glad we're no longer living in Old Testament times! I'm pretty sure some of my attitude filled prayers would have resulted in me spontaneously combusting or turning into a pillar of salt or something!

I was reading the other day and came across the following statement: "God never withholds something good unless He has something better...." Then yesterday someone said "Sometimes things need to fall apart to fall into place." Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to give you hope and a future." I felt a little like He was smacking me on the head with a 2 x 4! How guilty I have been of thinking God had forgotten us or that He was "withholding the good!" Over the past few years I've been learning a great deal. Most of it has been about waiting--- and I SOOOO hate to wait!

I can't help but think of the Isrealites and Joshua. Remember when they crossed the Red Sea? The city of Jericho was just in their reach and God told Joshua that they needed to stop and wait. They must have been so frustrated! They knew Jericho was theirs and they were ready for a fight. Instead, God told them that they all needed to be circumcised! YIKES! Can you imagine being that close to an enemy and so vulernable? God wanted the Isrealites to get themselves right before Him, He wanted them to be obedient in circumcision. He gave them time to heal and He got their attention. He made sure they were listening to Him. Had He allowed them to go directly from the miracle of the parting of the Red Sea to Jericho they would have never been able to quietly march around that city and follow God's direction. In much the same way, during the past few years God has been slowing me down, healing my brokeness, and strengthening me for what is to come. He was getting my attention! I needed to practice "being still" and listening to His prompting.

You see, while I was waiting for Him to prepare His perfect plan, He was preparing ME for His perfect plan!

God has been so good to us. He has blessed me, my family, and Faces of Hope more than I ever imagined He could-- and He continues to do so. This morning His newest gift to me, Michael and Seth Lee, and I attended Joshua's preschool graduation. Immediately after that Michael and Igot our marriage license. MARRIAGE LICENSE! That's right-- in a few short weeks I will be retiring my title as "single mom" and embracing a love like I've never known before and most assuredly from Heaven above. God has sent me Michael and his sons Seth and Isaac. If you ever hear Michael speak of these past few years He will tell you that it has been a time of healing and redirection in His life as well. Had we met any sooner than we did, had we been blessed with what we perceived to be "good," we would have completely missed out on "better."

While I was waiting I fell in love with my Savior. Only then was I ready for the blessings He has had in store. Talk about worth the wait!

Love you guys.

Leslie