So I have this friend... She called me this morning in tears... I wasn't quite sure what to say so I just sat quietly, unwrapped the Dove chocolates for her, and listened... This is what she said...
"I only have a few minutes-- I just have to vent. I have to cry and tell SOMEBODY about it so that I can go about the rest of my day! Ok- so you know my ex-husband stopped paying child support, right? In a perfect world, that's fine-- it was actually the only thing he contributed to his offspring outside of his sperm anyway... So that's a HUGE dent in the family budget. THEN there's the new husband's employment situation... OH! And it just breaks my heart! I mean, can you believe it?! I've NEVER known a guy to work so hard-- I mean-- RIDICULOUSLY HARD-- with so much heart-- so loved by-like-- EVERYONE that sees him-- and yet he gets TOTALLY taken advantage of! SERIOUSLY! I don't even know where to begin with that!
"Ok-- that takes me back to the whole ex-spouse thing.... All I can say about her is PIECE OF WORK! I'd get started on that, but I'm pretty sure I'd have a stroke... Hasn't helped pay for a thing, doesn't care, isn't going to-- not unlike my ex spouse.... Makes you wonder where we found those two, doesn't it? Of course, were it not for them then we wouldn't have our kids-- so I guess there's that....
"Ok-- so where was I? Oh yeah. Ok-- so I have to go to the electric company by 9 am or they are going to turn our power off-- OUR POWER! Nice, right? And if THAT's not enough to just make you want to be sick, I've got to figure out a way to pay for the electricity at the place I volunteer at too... I promised I take care of it this month only I haven't got the slightest idea how I'm going to make that happen when I can't even take care of my own!
"I spent all day yesterday helping this one family get their cat out of a tree-- really sad situation. No one else would help them and their insurance won't cover a thing. Finally got them squared away just in time to go to two other meetings at two other shelters with animal control. And the issues on the table just seem so simple to me! They're hungry-- feed them already! So you think they should have steak every night? Well, that's not likely... Would you settle for 3 out of 7 nights? Better yet, can we just agree on something well balanced? Ah-- now that's more like it....
"Then I get home and I feel like a complete failure. I mean, my pets all look completely unloved. I'm tired-- too tired to take them out for a walk like I had promised. I was even hoping the birds had some food left over from the night before so I didn't have to take the time to cut up an apple. CUT UP AN APPLE! Did you hear me?! I mean, how lame am I? Like it takes that long to cut up an apple?! My husband seemed sad because I was sad and stressed. We've both been pretty stressed. He's been pretty hurt lately-- we both have. We belong to this group-- usually meets every weekend. Well, he was such good friends with most everyone there. As a matter of fact, he'd told me on more than one occasion that one fella in particular was his best friend.... Lately we haven't been going. Been looking for reasons not to go. We're actually kind of nervous about taking the dogs with us. Got the feeling that not everyone in the group is as comfortable with the dogs as they had led us to believe. Afraid someone might get bit. I don't know-- it's a disaster really. We needed that group. We love that group. We are so hurt.
"So I was feeling totally hopeless, completely responsible, like a failure. I had to make a quick stop at the store for some treats and I ran into a friend that I haven't seen in a long, long time. She quickly reminded me that my oldest was only a year old when she got married 14 years ago, that my youngest is getting ready to have another birthday. Suddenly a life from long ago flashed before my eyes..."
For the first time since she started talking, my friend took a breath, paused, and then with tears in her eyes continued in a much slower pace.....
"I remembered a time when I had only one child and had no idea what it was like to want or need anything for her future. I remembered nearly losing a second child and how the pain of that period of time was greater than any I'd ever known and any I've known since. I was reminded that I am loved beyond all comprehension by a very special man that God gave me-- not because I chose right the first time, but because my God-- you see-- He's got a plan for me. He's got a plan and a purpose for everything under Heaven. I realized yet again that all of the 'things' clouding my mind were just temporary hurdles and that not one of them-- not a single one-- was too big or too much of a surprise to separate me, my husband, or my precious family from the all powerful hand of God.
I wasn't sure what to say. "Sounds to me like you're doing just fine," is all I could come up with.... "Why'd you come here to cry?"
"Well," she said, "I guess I just needed someone this side of Heaven to hear it too.... Besides, there was NO WAY I could have unwrapped all of that chocolate and kept the car on the road!"
Two things-- maybe three... First, the names, situations, and circumstances have been altered to protect the innocent (and the guilty for that matter). Second, I am sharing this with you because I think we all have days like this. Sure, we'd all like to think we can just pray about it and react positively, but the truth is we're human and sometimes-- maybe even more often than we'd like-- we just don't. Life on this planet stinks sometimes-- it just does. It is what it is. You get what you get. Third, just as certain as I am that you get what you get-- I am equally as certain of this--- failure is not falling down, but refusing to get back up... And as a Christian, with God by your side to carry the load-- or even to carry you-- what could possibly be your excuse for not getting back up?!
Here's to my chatty friend and her unexpected encounter at the store.... Hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me!
Leslie
"I only have a few minutes-- I just have to vent. I have to cry and tell SOMEBODY about it so that I can go about the rest of my day! Ok- so you know my ex-husband stopped paying child support, right? In a perfect world, that's fine-- it was actually the only thing he contributed to his offspring outside of his sperm anyway... So that's a HUGE dent in the family budget. THEN there's the new husband's employment situation... OH! And it just breaks my heart! I mean, can you believe it?! I've NEVER known a guy to work so hard-- I mean-- RIDICULOUSLY HARD-- with so much heart-- so loved by-like-- EVERYONE that sees him-- and yet he gets TOTALLY taken advantage of! SERIOUSLY! I don't even know where to begin with that!
"Ok-- that takes me back to the whole ex-spouse thing.... All I can say about her is PIECE OF WORK! I'd get started on that, but I'm pretty sure I'd have a stroke... Hasn't helped pay for a thing, doesn't care, isn't going to-- not unlike my ex spouse.... Makes you wonder where we found those two, doesn't it? Of course, were it not for them then we wouldn't have our kids-- so I guess there's that....
"Ok-- so where was I? Oh yeah. Ok-- so I have to go to the electric company by 9 am or they are going to turn our power off-- OUR POWER! Nice, right? And if THAT's not enough to just make you want to be sick, I've got to figure out a way to pay for the electricity at the place I volunteer at too... I promised I take care of it this month only I haven't got the slightest idea how I'm going to make that happen when I can't even take care of my own!
"I spent all day yesterday helping this one family get their cat out of a tree-- really sad situation. No one else would help them and their insurance won't cover a thing. Finally got them squared away just in time to go to two other meetings at two other shelters with animal control. And the issues on the table just seem so simple to me! They're hungry-- feed them already! So you think they should have steak every night? Well, that's not likely... Would you settle for 3 out of 7 nights? Better yet, can we just agree on something well balanced? Ah-- now that's more like it....
"Then I get home and I feel like a complete failure. I mean, my pets all look completely unloved. I'm tired-- too tired to take them out for a walk like I had promised. I was even hoping the birds had some food left over from the night before so I didn't have to take the time to cut up an apple. CUT UP AN APPLE! Did you hear me?! I mean, how lame am I? Like it takes that long to cut up an apple?! My husband seemed sad because I was sad and stressed. We've both been pretty stressed. He's been pretty hurt lately-- we both have. We belong to this group-- usually meets every weekend. Well, he was such good friends with most everyone there. As a matter of fact, he'd told me on more than one occasion that one fella in particular was his best friend.... Lately we haven't been going. Been looking for reasons not to go. We're actually kind of nervous about taking the dogs with us. Got the feeling that not everyone in the group is as comfortable with the dogs as they had led us to believe. Afraid someone might get bit. I don't know-- it's a disaster really. We needed that group. We love that group. We are so hurt.
"So I was feeling totally hopeless, completely responsible, like a failure. I had to make a quick stop at the store for some treats and I ran into a friend that I haven't seen in a long, long time. She quickly reminded me that my oldest was only a year old when she got married 14 years ago, that my youngest is getting ready to have another birthday. Suddenly a life from long ago flashed before my eyes..."
For the first time since she started talking, my friend took a breath, paused, and then with tears in her eyes continued in a much slower pace.....
"I remembered a time when I had only one child and had no idea what it was like to want or need anything for her future. I remembered nearly losing a second child and how the pain of that period of time was greater than any I'd ever known and any I've known since. I was reminded that I am loved beyond all comprehension by a very special man that God gave me-- not because I chose right the first time, but because my God-- you see-- He's got a plan for me. He's got a plan and a purpose for everything under Heaven. I realized yet again that all of the 'things' clouding my mind were just temporary hurdles and that not one of them-- not a single one-- was too big or too much of a surprise to separate me, my husband, or my precious family from the all powerful hand of God.
I wasn't sure what to say. "Sounds to me like you're doing just fine," is all I could come up with.... "Why'd you come here to cry?"
"Well," she said, "I guess I just needed someone this side of Heaven to hear it too.... Besides, there was NO WAY I could have unwrapped all of that chocolate and kept the car on the road!"
Two things-- maybe three... First, the names, situations, and circumstances have been altered to protect the innocent (and the guilty for that matter). Second, I am sharing this with you because I think we all have days like this. Sure, we'd all like to think we can just pray about it and react positively, but the truth is we're human and sometimes-- maybe even more often than we'd like-- we just don't. Life on this planet stinks sometimes-- it just does. It is what it is. You get what you get. Third, just as certain as I am that you get what you get-- I am equally as certain of this--- failure is not falling down, but refusing to get back up... And as a Christian, with God by your side to carry the load-- or even to carry you-- what could possibly be your excuse for not getting back up?!
Here's to my chatty friend and her unexpected encounter at the store.... Hope it blesses you as much as it blessed me!
Leslie
Give your friend a hug for me and tell her she reminds me a lot of you. Love you, you crazy thing. Always remember you have ONE GREAT BIG GOD who loves you very, very much! You are such a blessing to so many. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot know what a bad day I wuz having when I saw this. Thank you for giving me strength to try a little bit longer.
ReplyDeleteOh how I love you, girl!
ReplyDeleteLove you and your precious family-- ALL of you! SO glad you FINALLY have your house full of those 3 boys we used to talk about.... Hey girl-- where's your bag?!
ReplyDeleteNot sure I ever told you this, but you have always been one of my heroes. Paramedic or not, you're the best! Thanks for all you do! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI understand. I don't want to get up some mornings either. But true courage is not necessarily running in front of bullets on the front line. Courage is getting up tomorrow to do all the little things that have to be done to keep it going for the ones who matter most. Thanks for getting up today. I'll see you tomorrow....
ReplyDeleteTell your friend, that if she needs to talk, we will listen;
ReplyDeletemy Grandfather once taught a Sunday School class and his class seemed to be quite popular, mainly because---- he listened.
Its amazing what just having someone's ear can do for you.
Wow, I just read this and boy did it affect me!Is this really about you though? If so, what a load you have to bear :(
ReplyDelete